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GLEE (2000)

by Logan Lynn

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1.
Intro 00:16
hello isn't this a beautiful day? daisy, daisy up with the morning dew and now it's time to rise and shine as i witness the day for you
2.
From where I am standing You seem pretty lonely Like you are still missing somebody And from the look of things I know you need someone to love you Someone to love you And I'm certain I could do that But you are so cold and so far away When you are laying beside me And I know what it means when you roll away You're not the only one who's hiding I look for you in the darkest places I follow you through smoke and barlight I search for you until i am frozen choking on words i wish i had spoken I wish I had spoken But I follow you all through the night and sometimes, sometimes When I find you there's nothing left over I wish that you wanted me like you still want him I guess I'm waiting Waiting for joe to be finished with you so that I can begin But I will not hold my breath I've decided to hold you instead While I watch you pass yourself around the block again And wonder if I'm just another one of them And you may fight it until you're dead inside But I'll still be holding onto you for dear life Because I recognize love when it stares me down at night And from where I am standing You seem pretty lonely Like you are still missing somebody And from the look of things I know you need someone to love you Someone to love you And I follow you all through the night and sometimes, sometimes When I find you there's nothing left over...
3.
Panic 03:52
There is panic in my soul tonight Because there is nothing behind your eyes Telling me you are still in love with me And so it turns out that you were always right To predict how this will be ending But I was never listening I was blinded by the light of disillusionment I was always forgetting That I was not allowed to hold you so close Until you turned out the light I was to wait until you were sleeping And that was all that you could give me I knew you had to be awake sometimes And were just too afraid to stop pretending That this was not the safest place you had ever been And I keep wishing that you would reach out and touch me Reciprocate some of the safety But I could not get you to love me You could not be awakened And you will never be awake You will never be awake But I keep wishing Said I keep wishing...
4.
Meat 04:40
If you need someone to pray for Get down on your knees and ask your god to forgive you For what you have done to me This mistake you have made But don't you dare mention my name Don't you dare pray for me You little shit I can barely stomache the thought of it Because my mind is full of black feeling and angry thought Said my mind is full of black feeling I'm wishing terror for the two of you Hoping curses for you and your family Like maybe you will both catch herpes from a toilet seat Or choke on one another's hood fucking river meat That god might forsake you Leave you lonely as I am Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com That your children will have fins, gills and webbed feet I know it sounds silly but it's keeping me smiling To visualize vindication´ Following my unfortunate victimization I don't feel any sense of liberation So if you need justification to put your mind at ease Don't look to me Said don't fucking look to me I don't think jesus would've fucked me over so thoroughly You're no shining example of christianity May you never sleep through the night again knowing that May you never find peace in your cold bed May you double over and die from the pain of it When you decide it's time to miss me...
5.
I am holding myself Together with duct tape Unloading myself upon you Like the mothership Having finally blown the Candy coating over my Nuclear family to bits And things are exploding In our faces These fires have really been Burning us lately I am hoping for midnight In a half a minute And wishing for my animosity To leave my body And give me some privacy Who am I To bring you along For this ride Have you been Dying inside? Like I have Or maybe you are As confused as I am And maybe the flame Is as hot for you As it is for me But I find that hard to believe When you are fucking crazy I am holding myself Together with duct tape And wishing I could Tie myself down with A marijuana cigarette How many nights Will I be plagued With this circular thinking In the darkness? I lost count About two years After the baby died I know my mother Will never stop crying And she probably Never will forgive me for Being alive Yeah, it probably Should have been me who died But I just keep on living and living And living and living When you are fucking crazy You are fucking crazy Who am I To bring you Along for this ride Have you been Dying inside Like I have? Or maybe you are As confused as I am And maybe the flame Is as hot for you As it is for me But I find that hard to believe It's hard for me to believe When you are fucking crazy You are fucking crazy And things are exploding in our faces
6.
I have watched you waste your love on gutter trash I have stood by you while your heart was breaking in half And I have held your warm body next to mine while you were sleeping I have watched you spread yourself too thin while you were awake And now the moonlight is burning your glory And now I can see just where you want me to stay Try as I might to convince myself otherwise Try as I might to convince myself otherwise I have eyes for you only And I am watching you waste your frustration on these small people I am wanting you to notice who's never hurt you And I am and I am wishing you were in a better space in your head And I am wishing you away for a second Try as I might to convince myself otherwise Try as I might to convince myself otherwise I have eyes for you only And now your guilt about this has burnt my insides to the point of boiling And now I can see just how small our love can be Try as I might to convince you otherwise Try as I might to convince you otherwise I have eyes for you only And now the moonlight is burning your glory And now I can see just where you want me to stay Try as I might to convince myself otherwise Try as I might to convince myself otherwise I have eyes for you only...
7.
Here we go again I am sucked back in like no time has passed at all And I have no idea where to draw the line with you I'm running out of chalk I am always chasing a dream that you might stand still with me And watch all the other boy's pass out of your life and into the past But this clarity would never dare last And all my senses fail me at the sound of your voice There's no time that could heal that So I am left with a choice Is it worse to be hurting than to be in pain from the missing? God knows you're no catch But it's you who has caught me And all my senses fail me at the sound of your voice There's no time that could heal that But here we go again I am sucked back in like no time has passes at all And I have no idea where to draw the line with you I'm running out of chalk And all my senses fail me at the sound of your voice But here we go again...
8.
I noticed you first when I came into the party And I wanna know if you are here with somebody And if you are not would you like to be here with me Because I have never talked like this with anybody And that is really amazing because God knows that before I turned fifteen I fucked everybody What's that? Oh, I see What a pity What a terrible shame And disappointment for me I will not allow myself to be surprised Because this is the thing that I have come to realize There are no kind faces There are no kind faces No kind faces I cannot change anything or anybody I can only force them to see what they are missing I tell this to myself until I am blue in the face And then we walk a pale blue mile To the end of the scene Remarking on the distance of our journey And bathing ourselves in the mystery Of what could happen if we were to let it But I do not hate myself enough to ask I do not hate myself enough to ask There are no kind faces No kind faces
9.
If I am gone tonight I am gone forever If I walk tonight I will not look back And you won't even notice I have gone Until there is nothing to grab onto When there is nothing but slim pickings And you think like a man And you think like a man I hope that you find God where you are looking But I have to say that I have already been to those places And God is not hiding He is already dead There's no love to find No love to swim in So you will find yourself drowning Sinking in the sea of men that you have created I am but one of them I am but one of them And I am too tired to keep floating So I grab a straw, mirror and a razor blade And make my way to the exit And make my way to the exit But I love myself enough to ask that you hold my place on your list of men Maybe even put me in the top ten And know that all that was is nothing I said all that was is nothing And it's like I said If I am gone tonight I am gone forever If I walk tonight I will not look back...
10.
Menthol 04:22
you say "n-----s only smoke them menthol cigarettes" and i say "n----r ain't a word i like to say" like "i have still got things to find in dirty restaurants" tell me why you will not turn and walk away From me The life we have built The pain you've caused And the child Who might have been If it weren't for you If it weren't for you It wasn't your hand you used To wipe away my innocence With nothing left to say Or to disguise Had I known I could not run from you I would not have tried In time I could forgive you Or maybe not I would like to say "I love you" But I do not I do not If satan scared me half as bad as you These past few weeks I'd already have gone running back to god I have tried my best I am sorry if I failed you just like him Oh my god I feel the heat On my skin And this fucking blood From my head Is burning my eyes It's burning my eyes But I will not cry I will not cry
11.
You know me I've got diamonds on the ceiling And demons in my head So get the hell out of my apartment Your drunk ass needs to get the hell out of my face And take your shit with you I'm full up on space You need to stay the fuck out of my way 'Cuz you know me I am licking the walls and bouncing Bouncing So get the hell on with what you are saying You make no sense to me So get the fuck out of my face And take your poison with you I've got my own poison to breathe And I am ripping Ripping So get the hell out of my apartment And take your shit with you I've had enough for my life And you leave me your keys You piece of shit Those keys are staying here with me They're staying
12.
Digging 03:53
Digging through Jennifer's garbage Looking for cigarette butts I am going to smoke Every last one of them With you laying awake Shake your head all you want I did not ask for your permission It was given to me It was given to me You are shrinking me You are weakening my spirit I was so right to expect this I was so right I think I could have loved you forever Wipe the black from my eyes Pick myself up off this planet And notice how different I am Now I wait for my emotions to drain And then for my eyes I am waiting for you To come back to your senses But I am wasting my time Putting my heart into boxes I am taping you shut All the power of jesus Wouldn't let me forget
13.
The sunlight is going down like clockwork this evening Just as it came into our lives this morning And we are left looking at each other through cold eyes And I know you have to see me The way that I can see you sometimes What I would give to believe that What I would give to believe that And I can feel my strength I can feel it I can feel my strength Beginning to exit Through the hole in my stomach lining Stepping over my feelings And explosions And bombs that have been Sorely mistreated But left, unexploded But left unexploded And I can make you cum But you will not go away from my thoughts And then And then I can feel myself falling down over you Like clockwork And I wonder how long I can hold my breath And I wonder why I am even doing this to myself When what I want to be doing is anything but When what you need me to be wanting is anything but Am I making you crazy again this evening Just like I did when we were first waking up this morning It's taken all of my strength to try and Mask what's been burning You're officially under my skin My friend And there is no fucking calamine For this bullshit
14.
big cock motherfucker big cock motherfucker big cock motherfucker big cock motherfucker And now, suddenly I can feel this I can taste your not wanting me I can feel your cold look burning a hole in my skin Without having to see it My stomach's erupting with violence My stomach's erupting with violence And at a time like this it's hard to be silent It's hard to keep quiet I am feeling the love pass from my body I am flushing two years down the toilet I am feeling the love pass from my body I am flushing two years down the toilet This bed is so cold without you in it This bed is stone cold and silent And at times like this it's hard to be quiet At times like this I wish I were violent All I really wanna do is peel that off the ceiling It's hard enough to wake up during wintertime Without having to see it I never cared much for the gray sky Never pictured myself alone For the rest of my life I need pills with smiling faces I need pills with smiling faces 'Cuz at a time like this I just want to take them And take them and take them This bed is so cold without you in it This bed is stone cold and silent And at times like this I wish I could be quiet
15.
These are my staying awake nights Keeping myself entertained nights Making you out to be insane With trying not to fight I am alone in this restlessness I am coping with my busy life Not exposed to any true advice With a slippery hand In my mirror there is no hiding from this In my mirror I am still pretending That it is before my awakening That it is before my awakening So I am crying over nothing tonight You have been keeping me awake tonight Wish I could turn off your bright eyes Without causing a flash of light In my mirror there is no denying this In my mirror there is no hiding from this I am truly terrified And still I am pretending it's before my awakening That it is before my awakening Before my awakening
16.
It's another day's end And I think it's a crying shame One would think that The blow might have killed me by now But who's to say Jesus has forced me To forgive But I cannot forget That I am destruction I am reckless abandon Always running from everything And nothing at the same time Usually too high to notice you passing me by Because I have promises I have photographs Because I am nothing I am skin and bones and chicken shit And you can see that I can see it reflecting in your eyes So I fold it up and put it in my back pocket And then fuck you anyway It's funny how quickly I forget What my pocket has to say When my pants are around my ankles And jesus has forced me To forgive But I cannot forget That I am destruction I am reckless abandon And jesus has forced me To forgive But that doesn't change the fact that I have promises I have photographs
17.
So it's been Nineteen hours since I lost hold of my surroundings I'm piecing them together as we speak I'm trying to overlook The snap! crackle! popping! of the LSD Does this mean you don't want to see me On the inside 'Cuz I've no chance to survive In this safe place This safe place Don't you wish we were on our way To outer space What are the rest of my kind Doing with their days Frying their balls off With jill in the morning I am sizzling away What is left of my brain And watching as it passes Still trying to overlook The snap! crackle! popping! of the LSD Does this mean you don't want to see me On the inside 'Cuz I've no chance to survive In this safe place This safe place I fucking wish we were on our way To outer space Don't you wish we were on our way To outer space?

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released October 15, 2000

Words, Music & Vocals by Logan Lynn
Produced by PFog and Logan Lynn.
2000 Logan Lynn Music
www.LoganLynnMusic.com

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Logan Lynn Portland, Oregon

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